Dear Warrior Princess,
You’re another year older – a year full of surprises, fun, love, and sometimes challenges. You are cuddly, caring, and sweet, and also increasingly self-assured and terrifyingly independent. Like your mama, you don’t need validation from anyone else (including me!), and you don’t like being told what to do. Your personal strengths and inclinations won’t guarantee you an easy life, but we were made like this for a reason. They will call you bossy, and when you also have authority, they’ll call you aggressive – it comes with the skirt; but follow your heart, do what you know is right, and by all means, keep kicking butt.
Don’t change anything about yourself.
You amaze me. You’re not fully grown but possess an enormous sense of self. You’re unwavering in your determination, set in your own ideas, quietly confident, and extremely difficult to persuade. But you’re also kind, loving, gentle, and creative. And like me, you’re a textbook introvert. It’s likely that others will try to change you in one of these things or another.
These qualities are what make you unique and I love it. In fact, your beautiful character in our most trying moments gives me great empathy for your grandmother, who had her hands full with me, but it also helps me appreciate things about myself that I love in you. Please don’t change.
Keep your confidence high and do your best to love yourself.
My wish is that you see yourself through my eyes. Even in your teenage years which I know will keep me plenty busy, before your psych-social brain development can meet the increasing demands life puts on you, I hope, unlike me, you will always love yourself. There will be moments of doubt, when your friends, or social media, or dumb boys make you feel like you’re less than you are; when they tell you girls can’t skate or play drums or skate or do martial arts; when authority figures tell you or make you feel like you’re not good enough. This is more a reflection of their own shortcomings than yours.
I hope you will remain confident that you are pretty, smart, and lovely – at the very least. But really I pray that you always know you’re a badass and if someone tells you otherwise, you will shrug it off because you know they’re wrong.
Know that you’re capable of anything.
Everything you need to be a phenomenon is within you. It will require a dream or a vision, hard work and determination, timing, and perhaps a touch of kismet, but you can be anything you want to be. It will be my mission to help you achieve the things you yearn for, rather than what I think you need. Whether you want to be an engineer, an architect, or a prima ballerina, I will be your best cheerleader, a steady resource, and love and light when you need me. And I will do my best to give you the tools to fly without me when the time comes.
Follow your intuition, don’t give in to pressure.
Peer pressure didn’t work on me, and I hope you’ll also be indifferent to it. Never do anything you don’t want to do, anything you think is for the wrong reasons or anything that makes you doubt yourself. If you make a bad decision – we all do, don’t repeat it. Not following the crowd can sometimes feel lonely, but those who give in feel a different type of sadness.
Things always get better, and when you’re able to use your talents, you’ll realize that you don’t need approval. I know it won’t help you now, but when you’re an adult, you’ll realize that there are other lone leaders out there, and when you’re released into the wild, you’ll find amazing friends who love you, and any suffering and solitude will have been worth it.
Follow your intuition, be true to yourself, and know that I will always be here when you need me. You’ll probably screw up at some point, you’ll probably make me mad, you definitely will be mad at me, and sometimes I may not like you, but I will never ever stop loving you. I won’t give up on you. Don’t give up on yourself and don’t give up on me.
Don’t let anyone snuff out your flame.
I’ve established by now that I’m your loving fan. I admire you so much in so many ways, and you make me like myself even more. I am so proud to be your mom. Your innate qualities are so wonderful. Life’s lessons have a way, however, of changing us. Sometimes for the better – sometimes not. Determine for yourself early on whose opinion matters and whose doesn’t and let your true-self shine.
You are a warrior princess. You are a toughie and a badass. You are independent, bossy, and born to lead. You are warm, endearing, talented and inspired, and you’re mine. All the frustrations and challenges of being your mama come with profound adoration. Just keep kicking butt.
Defeatedly, enthusiastically, and forever yours,
Mama
Read past letters now.
