The last year has been difficult across the board, for men, women, children, and everyone in between. As the pandemic continues, our challenges have become compounded by what is largely recognized as a women’s recession.
Today, on International Women’s Day, I’d like to recognize all the women that are keeping families, business, economies, and nation-states running smoothly. Many were forced to leave their jobs (and maybe sense of identity) to stay home and homeschool kids, while others were not given a choice, as the economy contracted and workforce was drastically reduced. Women’s incomes across the board have taken a hit but we do our best to hold everyone together. It’s a daily struggle to make sure our kids, significant others, parents, and grandparents are cared for and safe, often at the cost of our own wellbeing.
Be careful what you wish for, ladies
Just one year ago, I was struck with envy each morning as my daughter and I walked hand-in-hand amidst kids and their stay-at-home moms. Me walking like hell’s robot in heels, passing masses of kids with their moms in yoga pants, strolling in leisurely in their yoga pants.
I’d imagine the yoga-pants-mom dropping off her elementary school-aged kids and walking home with the baby slung on her hip. She makes herself a matcha latte and settles down with the little kids to do the morning craft project. After crafts, the kids have an organic lunch, and lay down for a nap while mom does pilates in the living room. They have the privilege of watching their kids grow up, while mine was raised by teachers. But I never fooled myself – I know staying at home with children is a full-time job. Maybe she was running teams of developers in Ukraine and India from her living room, or blogging with homes of a diversified income. I don’t pretend to know other peoples’ difficulties.
But I’d arrive sweaty and breathless at work, in business-casual, where I ‘d send 1,001 emails, eat over my keyboard in my cube, and sit for 9 hours straight, interrupted only by one bathroom break. I like what I do, and I’m good at it but I wanted a happy medium: running things in yoga pants on my couch…with a matcha latte, why not?
Last year flipped the script on our lives
I’ve been wearing yoga pants and sending 1,001 emails per day with a matcha latte in-hand since last year’s spring break that never ended. I, like so many of you, homeschool my daughter for the greater part of the day, between and during Zoom calls, do craft projects, make dinner, and try to fit in a workout in the mornings, paying bills, maintaining the house, keeping things in order.
I’m spending more time with my spectacular mini than I had ever in her whole life. We share an office and it’s both gloriously heart-filling and frustrating.
But this is not a contest. Full-time moms, ladies without kids, single ladies, moms of fur babies, grandmas, the unemployed, the over employees – everyone faces distinct issues, not to be undermined by any one else’s. You’re all doing awesome.
I have an all new and deep appreciation for homeschoolers and teachers, and empathy and solidarity for all women hustling all day every day however life requires them to. It would have been impossible to imagine a life like this…
Here’s an ode to you
I don’t often share poetry because it’s so subjective, but I wrote this one day and share on International Women’s Day in hopes that during these trying times, it brings comfort to know that you are no alone.
To all the other women out there who were told we could have it all – we can, but as you know, not all at the same time. It’s not easy, it’s not always fun, but we grow each day, try to enjoy the journey, and should be bringing other ladies up with us. Keep being amazing – unapologetically, unrelentingly, insatiably amazing. This one’s for you:
It’s hard to imagine
I know it’s hard to imagine a woman like me,
With brains and brawn and empathy,
A good job, a toolbox, a house in her name,
A degree, a passport, a few moments of fame.
Who fixes and solves and carries and lifts,
Takes care of business, works extra shifts,
A side hustle, meetings, babies, and school,
I can do it all and I don’t need rescue.
Sometimes I get tired, sad, and stressed out
But I keep doing what I do and only I know how.
Get the kids dressed for school, lunches, then heels,
Groceries on my lunch break, 5 minute meals.
And yes, I can bake, craft, sing, and sew,
I’d make a great wife – my dad told me so.
“Babe, what’s for dinner?” you innocently say,
As I open the oven – last task for today.
Weekends I landscape, vacuum, and cook,
Handle that leak, 5 minutes with my book.
That didn’t fix it, I’ll call the plumber next week.
One drink on the couch and I fall fast asleep.
“Thanks for coming over, repairing the leak”
“Tell your husband that next time…” “No, you’re talking to me.”
The one with this checkbook, the will, and the plan.
Now I can fix it myself if it happens again.
It’s okay – don’t say sorry or even feel bad
You didn’t know how insatiable I am
There are lots of us out there – strong, wild, and free
Yet it’s still hard to imagine a woman like me.
–By Genevieve Gutiérrez Gil
